Posts in Self-Esteem
Body Shaming
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If you did not find this cover amazing, you have a problem!

@cosmopolitanuk October cover is the plus size model @tessholliday and got some really bad comments around the world.

This morning I saw an article about it in The West Australian, where the columnist wrote: "This isn’t a conversation about aesthetic, or about what’s fashionable. About whether or not you think Holliday is model material or otherwise.

This is about more of the same rubbish being peddled to women — that is that any shape and size is beautiful, even at the incredibly unhealthy extremes."

If you DO NOT AGREE, you are on the right track!

But if you AGREE, I'd like to ask you a question.

1 - Are you a doctor ?! If not, you really have no way to know if she's healthy or not. If you are a doctor, go to the next question ...

2 - Did you have access to the model's medical exams?! If you did not see them, you also have no way to know if she's healthy or not.

Did you realize that you cannot say if someone is healthy or not by looking at a photo?! I really don’t know why people say what you should or should not do with your body, just by judging what they look at in a photo, or in person. - Isn’t it easier to just stay quiet and mind your own business?!

Now, let’s move to a more serious problem... BODY SHAMING!

You may have preferences on how you want to look physically, you may wish to lose or gain weight, just as you may be completely satisfied with your body! But you can only do this with YOUR OWN BODY!

Yesterday a photo of a future collection of Revolve was prematurely released. The brand of Los Angeles is known for its famous ambassadors such as Camila Coelho, Rocky Barnes, Aimee Song... ALL SKINNY! The photo in question was a shirt written: "Being fat is not beautiful, it's an excuse."

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HAS ANYONE HERE QUESTIONED OR SAW SOMEONE QUESTIONING THE HEALTH OF THESE INFLUENCES?

Being fat does not mean being unhealthy, and being skinny does not mean being healthy.

And with that we go the third photo: The 5 Minute Rule!

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Self-Esteem

Today the talk is about SELF-ESTEEM.

 When my instagram and blog became bigger than I ever imagined they would be, I decided I should be part of this body-positive movement and also talk about self-esteem in relationships, professional life, and motherhood.


We never know who is following us, we do not know their life story, their fears, and so I decided that I would talk about any subject in the most transparent way possible. My mission is to make at least ONE person feel good, have their self-esteem elevated, or their fears crushed.


But let's get down to business...
We grow up in an extremely sexist society, where many abominable behaviors become commonplace. I have lived most of my life surrounded by men, and I have always used that classic phrase "I only have male friends, because women are very annoying." - But I changed my mind and behavior, so today I think it's important to say that, and especially to show that it's okay to change our minds ... Of course, people still point to things I said in the past, but now I am another person. I think differently and I'm very happy to have changed my behavior and my mind... To keep making the same mistakes is foolish.


Of course, for a while, I felt bad for all the terrible thoughts I had over many years, but I decided to make peace with myself and start doing things differently; embracing more and more women who are fighting against these social patterns.


Now let's talk about these patterns ...


It is very important to understand that this goes far beyond our own behavior. The standards exist in the fashion industry, in transportation, television, magazines, and especially in our homes - they are everywhere!


What should we do about it? I say self-love is the most important thing. Let me give you an example ..


Last week I went to my in-law's house, and there's a pool. I grew up on the beach, so I packed my bikinis, but because of insecurity I decided to take a one-piece bathing suit as well.

I woke up on Tuesday and it was a beautiful day. I just wanted to lie in the sun and stay for hours - remember that I'm speaking to you as a person who lives in New York and, because of pregnancy and giving birth to Gigi, spent a year without sunbathing.


Well, I went to get ready to go to the pool. I looked at myself in the mirror and without any shred of love, I put on my one-piece swimsuit to hide my body and I thought, "I do not have a body to wear a bikini ..."


On the way from the bathroom to the bedroom, I asked myself,  "Why do I need to have a body to wear a bikini ?!"
-    First, I just need a body; and we all know that I have one.
-    Second, I just need a bikini; which I also had with me!


And after answering these very simple questions, I ran into the bathroom, changed into my two-piece, and went to enjoy the pool! See how easy it was to resolve this conflict?!


The problem is not what we want to do, it is dealing with the comments and unloving looks of the people around us.


But why do we let ourselves be shaken by what people think?! That's what I've been saying on Instagram several times.


People who do not look to themselves with love, will also not do so with the other person; they only want you to be someone they can't be, so they transfer their frustrations to you! You see how dangerous it is... It's not about you, it's about the dissatisfaction they carry about themselves.


I will give an example that happened to me last year... I got married in July last year, and in May someone criticized my body. They said I had to lose more weight for the wedding, to look beautiful in my wedding dress. Below you can see two photos from May 2017. I was very insecure about everything, I looked at myself in the mirror and I felt fat. In my head, I would be a horrible bride if I could not lose more weight.
So I decided to follow what these people said and I started a super restrictive diet to lose even more weight...

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The result was much more stressful than you can imagine ... I had a kidney infection because of the diet I was doing, I went to the emergency room, and besides the medication, the doctor said that my recovery would be faster if I ate carbohydrates. I do not need to say that the consequence would be to put on weight so that my kidneys would not be overloaded.
Also I had the stress of my wedding dress. The one I had bought did not fit anymore a month and a half before my wedding, so I was desperate for a dress that would be ready on time. It was pure adrenaline, because after I found the dress I wanted, I received the news that it would only be ready two days before the wedding. What if something went wrong in the dress ?!


Luckily the dress was ready a little before, because they had errors and at least gave time to fix it... But you see the point I want to make?! It's not about weight, it's about being at peace and happy with who you are. Love your body and yourself no matter what. If I had just ignored the comments I heard and was secure about my body and what I wanted for myself, this would not have happened. So you can see that it is not the other person's fault, IT IS 100% MY FAULT! 


Taking responsibility for yourself is one of the most important factors in this process. All the stress I have experienced, was my responsibility!

The wedding was great, I looked beautiful, I had fun, and that's the most important thing! But if I had not taken that responsibility for myself, I would have spent the entire time whining about what happened.


How does this work in our lives?! It's exactly the same thing! 
Today my priority is to strengthen myself more and more to raise a little girl who is completely free of these patterns. Is it going to happen outside the house?! OF COURSE! But if she practices the self love when she is little, she will understand that she can be who she wants, do what she wants, and learn to ignore any comments that shake her self-esteem.


Kids are free of patterns and prejudices when they are born. Adults are responsible for their insecurities. It is not that they teach this purposefully, but what happens is that the child begins to identify these patterns in adults and if the parents, for example, are insecure people, who are always complaining about their own body or think less of themselves, they will start to feel insecure as well.


Think about it, if mothers and fathers are the most perfect people in the world, and if they feel horrible about themselves, how will this child feel about it?! How will she grow up to be secure about her own body and her behavior?!


That story of building a better world for our children begins at home and goes far beyond material issues.


So what I want to say to you here is: Do not let yourself be shaken by the comments of others. Take care of your self-esteem, exercise your empathy with other people instead of looking at them full of judgment. When you look at others with empathy, it automatically comes back to you, and it's easier to deal with issues that still bother you.
But the next time you are judging someone, ask yourself why it bothers you so much. What's inside you that makes you judge or comment on other people's bodies and choices?
 

To finish this post, I will challenge you to start a week with more empathy and no judgement!

Makeup & Stuff

Hi people!!!

Yesterday was International Women's Day and it was very special for me. I'm very happy to be carrying a member of the next generation of empowered women.

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Because of that, I decided to share a little bit about self esteem and makeup. I made a video for the YouTube channel talking about some of the impact pregnancy has been having on me and what I've done to keep my head and self-esteem up.

I really like makeup. I confess that, at the moment, it's been a tool tool that has helped me a lot to keep myself positive. The hormonal changes during pregnancy are very strong and we can suffer from it, but we can also find a path with less of a negative impact and more happiness.

So I started to take care of myself to have a beauty routine, take care of my hair and my skin, and also to make myself feel better when I'm going out. Since I have very little clothing choices, I started testing different makeup.

Look, I'm going to confess that I started to feel a lot better taking care of myself every day both physically and mentally. Meditations are part of my daily routine. Not because I'm pregnant, but because I felt I needed to pay more attention to my emotions and needs.

I shared a little bit about all of this in the video below and more content about this subject will appear in the near future. Click to watch the video and also don't forget to visit my Instagram (@dicasbarbarasblog) to participate in the makeup giveaway!

Skin Care Routine

I never really cared about skin care. I think I spent most of my life using the same lotion for both my body and face. But we can't be fifteen forever, right ?! So a few months ago I decided to test some products and see what works the best for my skin.

In Brazil, my skin was always oily and I think that's why I avoided using products. I've always been afraid of increasing its oiliness. I used some of my Mom's products, but I never had the discipline to maintain a skincare routine.

When I moved to New York, my skin changed completely. At first I fought a bit against oiliness, but gradually it got drier and today I have normal skin in the spring and summer, but extra dry skin in the fall and winter.

In my opinion, it is easier to take care of oily than dry skin. I may be wrong but I speak from my own experience.

I hydrate my face several times a day, especially in winter. I use more concentrate lotions at night, giving special care to my eyes. Dark circles drive me crazy so I'm always looking for products to lighten the area around my eyes.

I have tested many products and here are the winners...

Cleansing Foam; La Roche-Posay:

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I'll start with this because it was an incredible change for my skin's health. I always washed my face with normal soap and maybe that's why my skin had dried out so much.

After testing some brands, I got to La Roche-Posay and I fell in love the first time I used it. The texture looks like a soap, however it does not need water to make foam. Just apply it on your face, massage it, and then to remove it you can use water or a damp towel. After a month of use, I noticed that my skin became softer and brighter as well. I have sun spots on my face, so this was great!

Cleansing lotion; Cetaphil:

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I always had a lot of trouble finding makeup remover, everything I tested gave me a bad allergic reaction! Then I finally decided to try this Cetaphil lotion. I heard a lot of good things about the moisturizer and when I found out they had the cleansing lotion I did not think twice, I tested and found the best option to my skin. 

So for those who have an extra dry skin like me, this is a great tip! You don't need water to use it, just apply on your face, massage and remove with a piece of cotton.

Daily use moisturizer; Cetaphil:

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My saga searching for a daily moisturizer was not easy either. I started using a Neutrogena one, but after a week of using it, it started to give me an allergic reaction. That's when my friend and makeup artist Debora Mendonça suggested Cetaphil.

I bought the first one I saw in the pharmacy and, in three days, I already felt the difference on my skin. What I did not know is that there were other types, and reading beauty articles on the internet, I found out they have one for extra dry skin with hyaluronic acid. 

Hyaluronic acid is present in our body from birth but it becomes scarce throughout the process of natural aging of the skin. This change compromises our skin's filling, which causes wrinkles and expression marks.

There are several creams containing hyaluronic acid available. So if you're someone like me that cares about skin aging, it's really worth it to try this moisturizer!

Night cream; Cetaphil:

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I don't even have to say that Cetaphil has conquered my heart since the first product, right ?! Of course, after two success stories, I started looking for others and found one more to add to my list!

I put the night cream into my routine as well, and of course with hyaluronic acid. This one has a very different texture from the other one. It is denser, which makes the hydration even better.

As I said at the beginning of the post, I am neurotic with dark circles and also with expression lines. This combination of the daily cream with the night moisturizer has shown results faster than I imagined.

When I wake up, I realize that both my dark circles and expression lines are softer. Another thing that helps a lot is always massaging the face while you are applying!

This combo from Cetaphil is the best EVER and they have it for all skin types!

Makeup remover facial wipes; Neutrogena:

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To be honest, this is a very love/hate situation. I am allergic to most wipes available and I've tested everything you can imagine. This one burns my skin a little bit but it did not give me a reaction! All the others I tested, I gave up due to red spots.

I do not use every day, just when I use eyeliner or too much mascara. If I use it every day, my skin gets very irritated, so I avoid it. To remove the day-to-day makeup, I combine La Roche-Posay cleansing foam with Cetaphil's cleansing lotion; it's perfect!

Peel off face mask; Studio 35 Beauty:

I must confess that I always thought this was silly, but it makes an incredible difference and of course, it became a skin routine. I do not use it every day, but I do at least twice a week!

There are sheet masks, which are super practical and the best option for those who are in a rush. I particularly prefer the peel off ones.

My favorite brand is Studio 35 Beauty, and my favorite mask is the honey one. The smell is wonderful! I don't recommend the cucumber one for those who have very sensitive skin, as it may burn a little and leave it red for a while, so my recommendations are coconut and honey!

I hope this review helps as you look for new products for your beauty routine. Always remember that each skin is unique and reacts differently. Be careful with allergic reactions! Be sure to read the ingredients for each product to avoid surprises!

Skin Care Routine

Hi everyone!

Today I'm here to talk about some products I've been trying on my skin. I got a few pregnancy-friendly products to try. As I am having insomnia, I need something good for my dark circles!

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I got this one for daily use. I bought it at the maternity store. My skin got very dry at first and now with winter, it's getting worse. The texture of this one is a little different. It has Vitamin C, grape seeds, and chamomile. As I had a skin rash, this lotion was the best. It is highly recommended by dermatologists and obstetricians, and now by me too :)

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I've always used Victoria's Secret's body lotions: the smells are wonderful right ?! But since I became pregnant, I started to look for specific breast and belly ones. I've never heard of this brand, but that may just be because I've never been interested in pregnancy products.  When I went to my first prenatal visit, I asked what was good to use. She said the number one brand here in the US is Mustela.

Both have a very different texture, the breast . one looks like a gel and the belly one is a firm lotion. You can feel it for hours, it is really good.

 

Now let's go to products not related to maternity ... Yesterday I showed this beauty in my Instagram stories and I received several messages. I found these eye pads one month before my wedding, and wanted to test and use every day to soften the dark circles. It is great; the product is amazing and the cost-benefit is even better. I buy them at Amazon for $ 7.00 to get two packs with 30 pads. As I do not use it every day, it lasts a long time. I usually use it when I have a party or any other event. I leave it for 30 minutes before doing or getting my makeup done. It's worth a try. My mom used it and loved it !!!

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Finally, this WONDERFUL mask from Caudalie! I only use it at night, before bed. It is a detox mask, which leaves the skin with a special glow! 

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If anyone tries any of these products, don't forget to tell me what you think!

Kisses :)